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script to screen: s7e14 | first date
written by: jane espenson

I don’t care how long we’ve been mutuals, reblogging some dumbass, mindless, regurgitated trite about “vegan plastic” like you DON’T own a single piece of fabric that’s a polyester blend will get you unfollowed and blocked because I do not have the time, or the energy, to pick out the worms that have crawled into your brain and died.

like, seriously, good luck with that.

The worst part about tumblr for me is that you absolutely cannot escape a popular blogger, even if you block them. The most you can do is blacklist their username, but you're still gonna see it all the time.

Doesn't matter bogleech once told me I deserve to be murdered because I don't think lolisho is comparable to the literal CSA I experienced; I still have to see them everywhere 🙃🙃🙃

you finally confess your attraction to the hot priest and he's like "oh darling, I thought you'd never ask" and proceeds to bite your neck and turn you into another catholic priest

Honestly this extremely slow Buffy rewatch mostly just making me more and more angry at how nothing gets 20+ episode seasons anymore. The zany bullshit filler is great! It adds so much charm and character! And lets you really make a status quo feel status quo-ey before upending it!

xicamatl

I have to tell you about the Abuela on my street.

She is nearly 70 years old, with wonderfully brown gnarled, wrinkled hands and eyes that are creased from smiling. She hand-makes all of her own clothes and sews dolls for my little sister. Abuela is very lonelyโ€ฆ her husband already passed and her kids live far away. She misses her grandkids. Abuela comes around our place for the company almost every other day.

So this morning, my little sister and I went to visit the Abuela to return the kindness of her vegetables with some homemade soup.

Itโ€™s a funny joke we have, that if you can make a perfect posole you are wife material. I was joking around with my friend beforehand to see if I was worthy of marriage, and my little sister thinks me failing is the best thing in life, so of course she wants to ask Abuela when we arrive.

Weโ€™re wearing masks and gloves and canโ€™t give her the big hug like we want to, but Abuela is always happy to see us. We bring the pot of soup to her table. My little sis, the little shit that she is, immediately asks, โ€œAbuela, is Reina ready to be a wife yet?โ€

And Abuela immediately shifts her entire mood. Her face literally becomes this:

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Abuelaโ€™s look pierces through my heart.

โ€œWho are you trying to impress? A man or a woman?โ€ she asks, deadly serious. We have broached the topic of marriage. It is her domain now.

And I, Rei, gay as the fourth of July, cannot believe that either Abuela clocked me instantly or that she could possibly have a fascinating past of her own.ย 

I thought about lying, but my little sister was there and I donโ€™t like to lie in front of her. So I was honest and said I was trying to impress a woman.

Without a response, Abuela carefully tries the posole. The room is silent.

โ€œFor a man, itโ€™s good,โ€ she says after a moment.ย โ€œBut, youโ€™ll need to work harder to impress a woman.โ€

All I can do is politely nod. I have so many questions.

Now Abuela is tired. She wants to eat and relax in peace, so she waves us away. We make sure sheโ€™s settled, and then my sister and I go home.

I canโ€™t believe my 70 year old Abuela said BI RIGHTS

this is the funniest fucking thing ever

not only did the grandma say bi rights but like

she had two separate scales of food judgement for men and women AT THE READY and there’s something inherently hilarious in “FOR MEN IT’S FINE, FOR WOMEN DO BETTER” 

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came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat

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everyone look at these namaki drawings that my friend @lakefama drew iโ€™m crying

Sam was meant to be a brotherwife

Three year old Sammy arguing with John about his plans to be Dean’s lawfully wedded wife. Daddy is wrong he can marry his brother because it’s a free country and boys can be wives because the dictionary doesn’t say they can’t. Also Dean said he could.

It’s an airtight argument. :(

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